Amanda Bynes shares her regret

Former child star Amanda Bynes talked with Paper Magazine about her struggle with substance abuse.

Posted: Nov 28, 2018 4:53 AM
Updated: Nov 28, 2018 5:00 AM

Four years after a series of troubling arrests and Twitter rants, Amanda Bynes is ready to talk about what happened.

"I'm really ashamed and embarrassed with the things I said," Bynes told Paper magazine. "I can't turn back time but if I could, I would. And I'm so sorry to whoever I hurt and whoever I lied about because it truly eats away at me. It makes me feel so horrible and sick to my stomach and sad. Everything I worked my whole life to achieve, I kind of ruined it all through Twitter. It's definitely not Twitter's fault -- it's my own fault."

The former child star, who rose to fame in the '90s on shows like Nickelodeon's "All That" and "The Amanda Show," said she's been sober for four years and is currently enrolled at the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising.

In 2014, Bynes was sentenced to three years on probation in a plea deal that resolved a drunken driving charge. As part of the deal, she also was required to attend an alcohol education course and pay a fine.

She continued to make headlines that year for a series of shocking tweets that included false accusations of abuse against her father.

"Everybody is different, obviously, but for me, the mixture of marijuana and whatever other drugs and sometimes drinking really messed up my brain," Bynes explained. "It really made me a completely different person. I actually am a nice person. I would never feel, say or do any of the things that I did and said to the people I hurt on Twitter."

Related: Amanda Bynes' bipolar diagnosis turns murky

She said the combination of marijuana use and a shift in her schedule contributed to her spiral.

"I just had no purpose in life. I'd been working my whole life and [now] I was doing nothing," Bynes continued. "I had a lot of time on my hands and I would 'wake and bake' and literally be stoned all day long ... [I] was just stuck at home, getting high, watching TV and tweeting ... I never did heroin or meth or anything like that but certain things that you think are harmless, they may actually affect you in a more harmful way."

Around the same time, following a psychological evaluation and hospitalization, Bynes tweeted -- and later deleted -- that she had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. In the Paper interview, she said she does not have a mental illness.

"It definitely isn't fun when people diagnose you with what they think you are," Bynes said. "That was always really bothersome to me. If you deny anything and tell them what it actually is, they don't believe you. Truly, for me, [my behavior] was drug-induced, and whenever I got off of [drugs], I was always back to normal. I know that my behavior was so strange that people were just trying to grasp at straws for what was wrong."

Bynes said she hopes to release a clothing line and eventually get back into acting. She also hopes her experience will serve as a cautionary tale for others.

"Be really, really careful because you could lose it all and ruin your entire life like I did," she said.

California Coronavirus Cases

Data is updated nightly.

Cases: 3543340

Reported Deaths: 49888
CountyCasesDeaths
Los Angeles118349620069
Riverside2885413695
San Bernardino2850812651
Orange2598573848
San Diego2578053218
Santa Clara1095061747
Kern102137786
Fresno945841397
Sacramento926211446
Alameda797961200
Ventura76947805
San Joaquin662901042
Contra Costa61865653
Stanislaus55487937
Tulare47680731
Monterey42016323
San Mateo38552502
San Francisco33947394
Santa Barbara31630398
Solano29882161
Merced28749393
Sonoma27845295
Imperial26840587
Kings21916218
Placer19661231
San Luis Obispo19500221
Madera15325201
Santa Cruz14516174
Marin13083197
Yolo12689185
Shasta10950172
Butte10855158
El Dorado906995
Napa895068
Sutter881896
San Benito572358
Yuba571936
Lassen559419
Tehama506852
Tuolumne392959
Nevada390974
Mendocino379043
Amador343840
Humboldt313633
Lake310740
Glenn220723
Colusa212513
Calaveras190225
Siskiyou172013
Inyo127835
Mono12084
Del Norte9765
Plumas6516
Modoc4504
Mariposa3937
Trinity3525
Sierra990
Alpine800
Unassigned00
Chico
Clear
55° wxIcon
Hi: 64° Lo: 39°
Feels Like: 55°
Oroville
Clear
56° wxIcon
Hi: 65° Lo: 49°
Feels Like: 56°
Chico
Clear
55° wxIcon
Hi: 57° Lo: 44°
Feels Like: 55°
Red Bluff
Clear
58° wxIcon
Hi: 38° Lo: 16°
Feels Like: 58°
Red Bluff
Clear
58° wxIcon
Hi: 59° Lo: 46°
Feels Like: 58°
Chico
Clear
55° wxIcon
Hi: 64° Lo: 48°
Feels Like: 55°
Strong wind continues to blow through the valley this afternoon, and will last through the evening. Thursday will still be a fairly breezy day, but the wind won't be as strong and our temperatures will be warmer. More wind is coming Friday and Saturday.
KHSL Severe
KHSL Radar
KHSL Temperatures

Community Events